Author: Ryan

Last fall, I wrote 2 different posts regarding Gratitude. Both looked at gratitude from the lens of the trial at the time. One was during the minimalist challenge, and the other was while food tracking. On the eve of Thanksgiving, I feel it’s only right to do so again.

Giving Thanks

In the latter of last year’s posts, I mentioned a class I took in college. One focus of the class, was exploring each student’s signature strength. It was derived from a personality test that ranked each a number of qualities. The signature strength I received was gratitude.

Being thankful feels like a cheat code in real life. Any time that I feel overwhelmed, frustrated, or crotchety, I can pivot my attitude to what I’m thankful for.

This might be easy for me to say. I’ll admit, I haven’t faced much adversity in my life. The hardest days of my life seem like a fraction difficult of what some people face every day. So don’t take this advice from me alone.

Viktor Frankl, a neurologist, psychiatrist, and Eugene Levy Impersonator Holocaust survivor, wrote in his book Man’s Search for Meaning:

“Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.”

If the Last Line Fails

Gratitude might be a last line of defense, but some days it just can’t hold up. Life might seem pretty great if we never had to experience any negative emotions. To be honest, I can’t comprehend a life like that.

The other day, I was watching Netflix. After a brief binging session, I found myself feeling sad. I was grateful for many things at the time, but I couldn’t shake the feeling.

At that moment, I decided to do the only thing I could think of, go for a walk. I didn’t try to cheer myself up or stop being sad, I just experienced it. I walked and analyzed my thoughts. Letting myself experience this feeling allowed it to slip away.

Before I knew it, I was off thinking about something else. Down some tangent, I was excited about some ideas bouncing around.

When it comes to emotions, sometimes we just need to experience them to move on.

Throughout the past couple of weeks there’s something that’s been on my mind, what really is a complaint? I’m supposed to be avoiding them or acknowledging them at the very least.

So What is It?

The Merriam Webster dictionary defines complaint as “expression of grief, pain, or dissatisfaction.” Though, I don’t think we would say someone is complaining at a funeral or after experiencing a serious injury. There is something more to it than that.

A conversation with my brother brought out the essence of complaining, a self pitiful attitude. When I find myself complaining, it’s always accompanied by feeling sorry for myself. “Why me!?”

Mechanically Lacking

Something I do feel I have to admit is that I never really gave into the mechanics of the challenge. The idea is to wear a bracelet and switch wrists after each complaint and start the streak over.

The bracelet I had in mind I ended up throwing out some time ago. I want to come up with a different tool to physically acknowledge complaints, before the trial is up. If you have any ideas, let me know in the comments below.

The idea of not complaining isn’t necessarily the goal of this trial. I’m hoping to call out when I find myself getting in a complaining mindset and shift gears right away.

Started Strong

The trial started while I was out visiting family. As I expected, it was pretty easy to get by on a positive mindset. After all, I didn’t have any major responsibilities or problems to deal with. I actually made it over four days without complaining.

The thing that did surprise me was a long day of travel and moving furniture only saw one moment of complaint. It was early in the trip back. My cousin was driving me to the airport, and we got stuck by a series of traffic lights that seemed to have the worst timing, this was Dallas after all. After that though, it was pretty smooth sailing.

Sweating the Small Stuff

The biggest thing I’ve noticed so far is that I tend to deal with larger problems or inconveniences pretty well. I generally laugh things off or not let it bother me when I’m faced with a major challenge. The things that get under my skin are the inconsequential.

To best explain this I’ll use an example. After getting back home, I was looking for a particular dish in the kitchen. One of my roommates put it away in a different spot than I normally do. A thought crossed my mind to the effect of, “how could they put this here?”

Luckily, I caught this thought and called myself out on how stupid it was. This is the type of thing I’ve let myself get away with for to long though. These little comments and thoughts that don’t lead to any solution to a problem.

Throughout this trial, I hope recognizing when I find myself in this mindset will help to prevent it in the future.

While away from home, I’ve slept in a couple different arrangements, both having different effects. Back in a bed, I was surprised to find I miss my at home setup.

A Return to Old Ways

Sleeping in a conventional bed again wasn’t as comfortable as I was expecting. It took some time to get settled back in and I even woke up feeling pretty stiff.

One thing in particular that I’m glad on is that I woke up with a familiar lethargy as of late. I’ve had trouble getting up as early as I once did since around the time I started the trial and wondered if it had an impact. This might be a sign it’s something else, good news depending on the perspective.

Currently, I’ve visiting my cousin, and my setup here is closer to the Japanese futon back home. It’s the type of futon most people think of when they hear the term. Looking it over, it does remind me of the shikibuton, it’s a thin pad of cotton. The major difference is this one is on a couch frame, not just on the floor.

Final Thoughts

In the end, I was glad to see that things took a turn for the better after I changed my sleeping habits. I’m not entirely certain if sleeping on the floor has any direct benefits, but I surprisingly enjoy it. I’m looking forward to learning more and improving on the foundation I’ve started building.

The portability of the shikibuton helps with the minimalist mindset. Working from home, I stay in my room most of the day, and often I’d collapse into bed after a tiring day. With my bed folded up and put away, I can easily change the purpose of my room at a given moment.

For the next trial, I’m going to be trying the no complaint challenge. Though more so the mechanics than the “challenge” itself. To summarize, I’ll wear a something on my wrist and anytime I start to complain, I have to switch it to the other wrist.

Night one of implementing the changes I wrote about last week felt like I was a different person. I had some of the best sleep all month, and even better than some days in a standard mattress.

Small Changes, Big Difference

Last week, I found a post that gave some direction in how to effectively sleep on a Japanese futon. It’s amazing the difference made by sticking a pillow between the knees.

Before the change, I woke up feeling tired and sore, especially in the low back. Even with regular yoga, I could not shake the tension throughout my body. My guess was bad sleeping posture caused by more direct contact with the floor. On a conventional mattress, there is a lot of material to hold your body in a comfortable position.

The simple act of holding a pillow between the legs seems to support a straighter spine and helps with posture throughout the night. This small change made me actually a bit bummed I’ll be off the futon for the next week.

A Wrap for Now

When planning out this trial, I didn’t realize it was going to overlap with a trip I had planned, so this brings the official trial to a early end. On previous trips, I’ve been able to toss the futon in my car and take it with, but I don’t think it’s worth the hassle to bring on a plane.

I still plan on writing a post next week looking back on the whole experience. I’ll even have the benefit to compare how it feels going back to sleeping on a mattress.

Sorry for keeping this post short, but I’m hitting the road now, so see you next week!

I wish I had better news but must admit that this has been a rough start to a trial. This is the worst I’ve felt in a long time when it comes to sleep. However, with some research, I’m hoping to turn that around.

Poor Posture

Over the past couple weeks, I wake up tired, regardless of the fact that I spend more time asleep. Even over the weekend when sleeping in, I’ve spent my mornings in a haze. Soreness has also been a problem throughout most of my body.

Drastically changing my sleeping arrangement has led to me using the same sleeping habits and posture as I would with a conventional western mattress. As a side sleeper, I fear my sleep posture was the cause of my back pain, not the mattress itself. My previous mattress was a memory foam style, allowing me to sink and slouch without much issue. Now, if I slouch at all, my muscles are tense in order to hold myself up overnight.

Turn for the Better

Sick of waking up uncomfortable and tired I started doing some research on how to sleep on a Japanese futon. I came across this post on the benefits and methods of sleeping on hard surfaces, with some particular highlights on the Japanese futon. The shift is definitely going to require some changes, and I don’t have enough nights to determine the results of this yet.

Implementing these new sleeping habits will hopefully improve my sleep quality over the next few weeks. At this point, the benefits of changing my mattress are minuscule compared to a mattress’s primary purpose, a good night’s sleep.

Drastically changing my sleeping arrangement has led to me using the same sleeping habits and posture as I would with a conventional western mattress. As a side sleeper, I fear my sleep posture was the cause of my back pain, not the mattress itself. My previous mattress was a memory foam style, allowing me to sink and slouch without much issue. Now, if I slouch at all, my muscles are tense in order to hold myself up overnight.

As it would happen, this ended up being an odd week for changing sleeping habits. A long night working and a weekend traveling created a couple outliers in my sleep schedule. Admittedly, I’ve been waking up pretty tired and feel like I need more sleep each night to feel rested, but first, the upsides.

Benefits of Ritual

The first few days I was sleeping on the futon, I woke up and folded it as a method of putting it away. This was a nice addition to get a morning routine started. I wish I could say I’d kept it up recently. The reason I enjoy this little ritual is it curbs bad habits I’ve had of going back to bed in the morning or laying down to unwind when done with work for the day.

Developing this morning ritual reminds me a lot of the wisdom in the book Make Your Bed. The idea is this daily habit helps to start the day on a victory, even if it’s only a little one.

Quite possibly the aspect I’m most excited about is how easy the futon is to move due to its size. With my minimalist tendencies, I love how easy this is to pack up or move around. This past weekend, I came in for the Chicago Marathon, and was able to fold up my bed and toss it in my car. Compared to when I moved my Casper mattress into the attic, my current living arrangement, this was a breeze. Without such a big bulky mattress, not to mention the frame, I just might be able to fit everything I own in my little Saturn Ion.

Immeasurable Impact

While there are certainly some benefits to this new sleeping arrangement, I have to admit that I haven’t been sleeping too well recently. A couple late nights and early mornings haven’t helped matters, so I hope it’s not the change that’s making the impact.

There have been a few nights this past week that I’ve stayed up far later than I should, some by choice, some not. These days can have an affect on how I feel multiple days later, so it’s difficult to say what degree the mattress change held.

In continuing this new set up, I hope to see improvements over time while I settle back into a routine.

After four weeks of meditating, I have nothing to say for my mind is at peace and the concept of thought is behind me. Kidding of course. I really enjoyed this trial. Meditation has been something I’ve done on and off for a couple years, but struggled to stick with it. Beyond this trial I want to maintain the habit.

Presence

One of the key takeaways I have from meditation is taking a moment to recognize the present. Sitting still trying to clear my mind makes me exist in the here and now. My mind might wander to what I’m gonna eat for my next meal or that stupid joke I made six years ago, but the goal is to come back to now and let those thoughts go.

This is something I try to notice at all times now. If I’m supposed to be focusing on something like work or writing a blog post and I start to wander, I recognize that I’m distracted and come back to the task at hand.

Other Benefits

Being the nerd I am, I watch a lot of weird videos on YouTube, and if you follow this blog you can probably guess I watch a lot of self development videos. One channel I follow, What I’ve Learned, did a video on the benefits of meditation. He shared a very interesting study that found a pretty cool benefit of meditation, the impact on sensory nerves.

To summarize a complex study, brain scans showed MORE activity when meditators were exposed to a painful level of heat. Here’s the interesting part though, they described the pain as LESS impactful than non-meditators. I’m not a total science expert I’ll be honest, so I can’t say for sure how conclusive the study is, but it’s interesting.

There are documented cases throughout history of people doing what seem to be superhuman feats as a result of meditation. Fasting for extreme periods and facing harsh conditions seem possible with a trained mind.

In the end, I like meditation as a regular habit. It has it’s days where it feels more like a chore, but on the days it really helps, I appreciate making myself do it. I hope to continue the practice going forward. I’ve been playing around with a morning routine more, so that might help me get in the groove.

On to the Next One

On a related note to morning routines, the next trial I have involves the piece just before getting up in the morning, sleep. This trial is one I’ve wanted to do for probably about a year. I am going to try out sleeping on a Japanese mattress, a type of futon called a shikibuton. It’s a thin, relative to a standard mattress, pad of cotton that rolls out directly on the floor. I’m really excited for this one!

The changes to my meditation practice I discussed last week definitely helped. Taking time in the middle of a hectic day to re-collect myself was beneficial for not just that moment, but for the rest of that day. Increasing the time I spent meditating also helped me reach a steady mind. The best way I can think to convey this is with a story.

My Now Weirdest Travel Story

I spent some time visiting my family in Florida this past week, and it was certainly a great time. Like all good things, it came to an end, and I found myself boarding my early morning flight. My trip back was a series of three connecting flights, all with a pretty tight window to hop on the next. If you’ve ever travelled, you can probably see where this story is going.

My second flight left a few minutes late, causing a missed final connection. While this may not seem too bad, those few minutes led to an additional fourteen hours before I found myself at home.

As the plane of my second flight was making it’s way to the gate, other passengers around me worried about making their connections as well. Anxiety started to build up, and I was worrying with them. Taking a moment, I closed my eyes, took a few deep breaths, and accepted the fact that there wasn’t anything I could really do in this moment.

A later flight was set to get me back to Dubuque a few hours later, so I enjoyed my time at the airport. There is something about long layovers that I enjoy. My only responsibility is to get to one spot with fifteen to thirty minute window. This gave me time to play some video games, read, and just walk around the terminal aimlessly. Finally, it was time to board.

But Wait There’s More

As you might expect, this flight didn’t go according to plan either. Due to fog, the plane re-routed to LaCrosse, WI a very small airport with little to do. I used this extra time to meditate, and it was a nice way to roll with the craziness of the day.

At the end of the day, I rode a party bus with eight other passengers who stuck around through it all. Most others rented cars or found a way out otherwise. I found myself laughing at the hilarity of the whole thing.

Awareness as Philosophy

I believe that my ability to laugh at what some might call frustrating travel problems comes from Stoic philosophy. I’ve written before about Stoicism and how it has shaped perspective to the world around us.

The practice of meditation is a core tenant of the Stoics. Regular meditation has sharpened my ability to view situations. I notice when my negative emotions start to take the reigns. Simply taking a moment to breathe can often let the emotions pass. The point isn’t to sweep these emotions under the rug or bury them down, but to recognize them and let them go. I still feel anxious, angry, or sad, but I move on from it before long.

Another week of meditation down, though I don’t have much to add to what I’ve written last week. I feel that I’m improving, but want to try a small changes.

Managing the Monkey Mind

The progress I’ve made comes with getting my mind to settle down when I need to, particularly around bed time. This may be due to most of my meditation practices have been just before bed, one of the changes I want to make.

Adjusting my practice to the morning or mid-day can allow the opportunity to focus in when the day starts to become hectic. In other words, when meditation might be most beneficial. I did try to meditate this morning, and barely made it five minutes before I pulled myself to prepare for work. This ended up becoming idle time, and I ended up being disappointed that I caved.

Meditate More

The other change I want to make is to set a longer timer. Currently, I’ve been shooting for 10 minutes, though some days I haven’t made it that long. One of my excuses is that I really just want to get to sleep as soon as possible. The prior change will prevent that.

I’m going to shoot for 25 minutes every day, and might try to get at least one day of an hour. Spending extended periods of time managing my focus should help me do so outside of meditation, be it at work or doing chores.