As the summer arrives, plans have wriggled their way into every waking minute of my day. From weddings to trips to mundane daily life, I have a summer that is becoming busier by the day, and it hasn’t even started yet. With this feeling of overwhelm starting to settle in, I’m looking for direction on what to say yes.
When to Start Saying No
There are a lot of philosophies on figuring out what invitations to accept. Because our time is so precious, it’s important to determine what we spend our time on. What can be more painful is spending more time on deciding than the activity itself. Have you found yourself scrolling for something to watch only to run out of time before even choosing something? This is the kind of trap I am looking to avoid.
Creating a system for decision making can solve this problem. The simpler the better. One example is investor Kevin Rose’s (confirm) rule “if it’s not a hell yes, it’s a no.” This keeps only the most important and exciting things on his calendar.
There are of course times when we don’t have this luxury, be it due to opportunities available or a lack of experience in figuring out what the hell yeses are. The latter opens up significantly more options.
There’s no right or wrong approach, but each has it’s pros and cons.
Getting to Yes
For me, the pillars I’ve followed are the pieces of Ben Franklin’s old adage, “early to bed, early to rise makes a man healthy, wealthy, and wise.”
My health is a category that typically has a good showing. There are times that aren’t the best, but I rarely do anything to critically sabotage it. I’ve recently been feeling a strong fitness push. I’m lifting, biking, and climbing more than I have recently. Honing my fitness always has me feeling great. It has a way of cascading out to other areas of health, like my diet, sleep, and even mental health. The latter of which I feel gets the most neglected when we think of health. A lot of my time in the coming months will be spent running, lifting, and thinking, hopefully with the company of friends.
Wealth doesn’t apply to just money, but all resources and more importantly, the people in my life. Being able to deepen relationships are often a major reason for me to say yes to things. This is certainly the most challenging to find the right balance, but time with friends and family is certainly a recipe for a good exeprience.
The final piece, wise, is a tough one. Wisdom is a tricky matter, as there are a range of ways to interpret it. Personally, it boils down to unique experiences which allows a more developed perspective on things. An experience can be gained personally or learned through someone else, often through a piece of media like a book or film.
Into Physical Space
This is of course where I shift this thinking to the objects in my life. Over the last few years, I had no trouble getting rid items that found their way into my hands: clothes, furniture, appliances, and more. I found myself regularly asking if a given item was something that I really needed, and often it wasn’t.
One of the most popular philosophies in this regard is Marie Kondo’s spark joy. It’s a slow process, but it’s a simple task, assess all items with the question “does this spark joy?” If not, thank the item and get rid of it. If yes, keep it.
Another approach with a more objective approach is one I was introduced to through The Minimalists. The boxing party involves packing up everything as if moving. When the need for an item arises, retrieve it from a box. After a given period of time, get rid of the packed items. It can be easy to end up with countless things that are never used, not even considering emergency “what if” items.
After moving last year, I’ve slowly accumulated more and more. It’s beginning make my living space feel cramped. A focus of mine this week has been small tasks to improve the organization of that space. While it unfortunately took until Sunday to wrap up the last few, I was able to get them done. The tasks centered around touching up areas that have gotten out of hand, like junk drawers and cable management for computers and game systems.
I was actually able to combine the effects of two junk drawers in an organized way that makes it easier to find the things from each. I did this by moving some of the items around, taking some out for actual use, and placing others, mostly tools and cleaning supplies, in a communal area.
For the last week of spring cleaning, I’m going to shift to the digital to clean and organize some apps.
Trying Out Before Buying In 