Month: March 2020

Learning is an important part of my life. From formal education to leisure reading to online courses, I love filling my brain with new information. One element of learning that has long interested me has been the idea of theory versus application. With learning being the subject of this trial, there’s no better time to discuss. First, an update on progress.

State of Learning

Since last week, I didn’t make the time for learning I was hoping to. An opportunity to work additional hours for overtime pay came up over the weekend. With the current uncertainty of financial institutions, jobs, etc., I figured it was a good chance to make a little extra cash should I need it.

The little progress I did make was in the card spring. I found a better way to hold the cards to have better control. I can get some consistent shuffles from one hand to the other, but only at a short distance. If I pull my hand more than six inches away from the other, I don’t have the control to keep the cards headed in the same direction, and they scatter to far apart. On the plus side, I can get through the whole deck.

I’m thinking of picking another skill to work on, with a periodic touch up on the card spring. If you have any suggestions, let me know in the comments below.

On Theory

When it comes to learning, I enjoy diving head first into a subject and consuming as much as I can. For a long time, I’ve found myself mostly delving into analysis and theory. I was more interested in the ideas of a subject, rather than the specific skills used within a discipline.

Back in college, I loved long lecture courses that consisted of a professor speaking and writing notes on a board. Jotting down the ideas and taking them in was exciting.

Much of my time spent online is watching video essays and analysis on a variety of subjects, but more often than not it’s media. The media in question comes in the forms of books, movies, and games. From narrative, design, or even media specific elements. A video may discuss the editing of a particular film in how it helps or hurts the final product. While not explicitly teaching the techniques required to edit, the focus is on the overall art.

Applying It

While theory can develop ideas, application is what ultimately gets things done.

I define application as the base skills that are used in the creation, maintenance, or interaction. For example, human behavior would be theory, but negotiation would be application.

The critical element of learning application skills is they require practice. While theory has a lot of information, it’s primarily analysis and thinking. Application however, is generally specific tasks. Knowing how to perform the task or tasks requires both an understanding and practice.

In the past year, I’ve made efforts to take more of this approach to learning. Rather than simply learn about an idea, finding a way to do something with that knowledge became the goal. I began learning a lot about game development. As part of two challenges, I made games for each. While both are basic in their design, I learned a lot about the development process.

Why Not Both

There can be discussion as to which is more important, but in the end I think both have their own roles. I recently watched a debate about political theory versus policy. One debater harked that theory was useless and only realistic passable policy mattered. The other agreed that policy was important, but defended that theory leads to development in overall political understanding.

I think the same applies to many, if not all, areas of learning. It’s important to understand the specific skills in a certain field, especially if it’s a job, as most of a day will be spent using said skills. A deeper understanding of theory or fundamentals can provide a foundation for those skills, as well a better path for growth, both individually and in the field as a whole.

My usual trials consist of trying a particular hobby or habit, but so far this year, I’ve been giving myself a lot of freedom with only a broad theme. For this trial, I’m trying to learn new skills of any and all kind. Little did I know, I’d end up in a phase of burnout while the world started to become a little crazy. Even still, I’m working to learn what I can, while not forcing this trial to derail me from other more important projects.

Making a List

Getting started, I made a list of a handful of things I’d like to learn. This list was formed from anything that came to mind. My intention in this trial was to kick back and have fun, so I figured I’d just let loose.

The types of skills I’ve written down are broad and cover all types of activities. There are mental skills, dexterous tricks, and even expertise in specific areas or tasks.

While having a breadth of options to choose from seemed to be the strategy for picking up new things, the lack of focus was detrimental to doing so.

Focus, Focus, Focus

To find some focus, I started with the one thing on the list that I could start with little research or materials. I found what I thought was perfect and surprisingly relevant to the task. The Kuji In are a series of nine hand gestures used as a meditation practice. Where I first learned of these was this video discussing the inspiration used of the hand symbols in Naruto. Extremely nerdy I know. I was nice being able to just find a video showing the signs and then practicing them. It was a good exercise to just start something.

With one win under my belt, I turned to a different YouTube channel, with the focus all on learning new skills. Looking through Mike Boyd’s videos, I found a few that might be fun.

I’ve started learning the card spring, shuffling playing cards from one hand to another. It’s a fun trick that has been a good challenge so far. My favorite part is the little moments of progress. Going from scattering the cards all over the floor to shooting a few cards into my hand, to only THEN having the rest fall on the floor has been inspiring.

In all seriousness, breaking apart the skill has been a fun way to learn. There’s a lot more hand dexterity and strength required than I first thought. I’ve actually felt muscle fatigue in my hands after a few minutes of attempts.

Practice Makes Perfect

In order to develop these areas I’m lacking, I’ve been using a small portion of the deck rather than the whole thing. Rather than suffer the aforementioned scattering of cards over and over, I can usually get a small spring with ten or so cards. My hands are getting a slight workout from the quality reps, and I’m getting a feel for controlling the flow of cards. Letting them slide out one at a time is the goal, allowing the

The thing I really like about this skill, is I can practice while relaxing. After a pretty long day, I found myself binging Twitch stream. I decided I should do something productive. Luckily, it’s easy to watch TV and shuffle cards at the same time.

With one week down, I’m trying not to take this too seriously. I have a few other things I’m trying to work on and want to keep this trial relatively light-hearted. Still continuing to practice and learn when and where I’m able will be key!

After four weeks of using the counseling service Better Help, I’m happy with the developments so far. Therapy has given me a place to open up more, be honest, and get ideas out of my own head. While I’m not sure how long I will continue, for now I plan to do so for at least a few months. It’s certainly not a solution for every problem, but it helped me in areas I needed help in.

The Good, The Bad, and The Forgettable

Therapy is a trial I’ve been meaning to do for some time, but I always had an excuse not to do it. I actually almost switched at the last moment, but the day before starting I had a meltdown emotionally. Shortly after I realized, I really needed to talk to someone.

At first, I expected my problems to be a hydra. Work on one problem, and two more spawn in its place. In the first session, I discussed a singular issue I’d been struggling with at the time, but while talking new ones whispered in the back of my mind. Staying focused, I kept on the first topic. After a couple of days, most of the other issues worked themselves out or tended to not be real problems in the first place.

One thing I was surprised in my experience was that I was able to share a surprising amount of good stuff with my therapist. I expected it to be week after week of sharing my challenges, and her guiding me out of it. Instead, I had a few rough days where talking with her helped me out of a negative headspace, but a lot of good days where I was sharing great things from my day.

Not a Panacea

Talking out a problem can be the first step in dealing with it, but often it is far from the last. While working with a therapist can offer next steps, I am the one who needs to take them. Everything I’ve discussed so far in therapy has had a follow up action required. Some small like changing a mindset, others larger like developing better habits.

At the end of the day, there are some problems that will require good old fashioned work. I’ve been trying to write more outside of this blog, but have been struggling to make the time. In my last session, I asked about any advice for making this new desire a true priority. There wasn’t much my therapist could offer at the time. She did share some methods to help after some further research. What ultimately needs to happen is that I need to put in the work.

Setting Sights Ahead

In conclusion, I’ve enjoyed my few sessions so far using the online therapy service Better Help. It’s a bit more expensive than I’d like to be paying, but from the little looking I did it’s cheaper than an in person alternative. I believe it’s possible to qualify for financial assistance if needed, a plus for people who really need the help but can’t afford it.

In the long run, I am not sure I’ll continue beyond a few months. Admittedly, it’s easy to dismiss the benefits of therapy when things have been going well lately. If challenges arise in the near future, I may remember how truly helpful the early experience was. I look forward to continuing this new part of my life, and hope to share updates in the future.

For the next trial, I’m going to be switching things up a bit. After an introspective, emotional trial, I wanted to take things to a more lighthearted direction. For the next four weeks, I’ll be trying to learn as many skills, big and small, as I can.

An expression I’ve heard time and time again is that we wear different masks among different crowds, figuratively for the most part. I certainly can’t know what other’s experience is, but I find myself switching “masks” frequently. Therapy has been a nice place where I’m finding out what is really behind the mask.

Mask or Truth

For many years, a favorite game of mine has been The Legend of Zelda Majora’s Mask. To oversimplify, in it, you play as a young hero whose adventure has his donning many masks. Different masks offer different interactions with the land’s many residents. I’ve always enjoyed not only the mechanic of the masks, but the symbolism as well.

In my own life, I often reflect, finding myself acting in so many different ways. One could call this acting my masks. To hopefully not come across as too cliché, I sometimes find it difficult to pin down what my genuine self is.

Different groups or individuals seem to bring out different characteristics in me. Some for better, and some for worse. I don’t know if it’s the others that bring out these characteristics, or if I act in such a way that’s expected. Don the mask.

Our masks can help us in various places. The difference in our attitudes and behavior on karaoke night and at a job is probably for the best. Despite what sitcoms and silicon valley may inspire. While they are helpful, it’s also important to find time to shed these masks, or else we might mistake who we are for them. Changing from one mask to another, never finding a moment to really be ourselves.

Unmasking

While my therapist is certainly getting to know me more as time goes on, there’s still a barrier that separates us. This doesn’t only come in the form of the online service, but also that our relationship is limited.

In the sessions so far, I’ve tried to remove any ego when it comes to what I share. Having a place to truly open up is helping me to find that true self once again.