Month: November 2019

Last fall, I wrote 2 different posts regarding Gratitude. Both looked at gratitude from the lens of the trial at the time. One was during the minimalist challenge, and the other was while food tracking. On the eve of Thanksgiving, I feel it’s only right to do so again.

Giving Thanks

In the latter of last year’s posts, I mentioned a class I took in college. One focus of the class, was exploring each student’s signature strength. It was derived from a personality test that ranked each a number of qualities. The signature strength I received was gratitude.

Being thankful feels like a cheat code in real life. Any time that I feel overwhelmed, frustrated, or crotchety, I can pivot my attitude to what I’m thankful for.

This might be easy for me to say. I’ll admit, I haven’t faced much adversity in my life. The hardest days of my life seem like a fraction difficult of what some people face every day. So don’t take this advice from me alone.

Viktor Frankl, a neurologist, psychiatrist, and Eugene Levy Impersonator Holocaust survivor, wrote in his book Man’s Search for Meaning:

“Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.”

If the Last Line Fails

Gratitude might be a last line of defense, but some days it just can’t hold up. Life might seem pretty great if we never had to experience any negative emotions. To be honest, I can’t comprehend a life like that.

The other day, I was watching Netflix. After a brief binging session, I found myself feeling sad. I was grateful for many things at the time, but I couldn’t shake the feeling.

At that moment, I decided to do the only thing I could think of, go for a walk. I didn’t try to cheer myself up or stop being sad, I just experienced it. I walked and analyzed my thoughts. Letting myself experience this feeling allowed it to slip away.

Before I knew it, I was off thinking about something else. Down some tangent, I was excited about some ideas bouncing around.

When it comes to emotions, sometimes we just need to experience them to move on.

Throughout the past couple of weeks there’s something that’s been on my mind, what really is a complaint? I’m supposed to be avoiding them or acknowledging them at the very least.

So What is It?

The Merriam Webster dictionary defines complaint as “expression of grief, pain, or dissatisfaction.” Though, I don’t think we would say someone is complaining at a funeral or after experiencing a serious injury. There is something more to it than that.

A conversation with my brother brought out the essence of complaining, a self pitiful attitude. When I find myself complaining, it’s always accompanied by feeling sorry for myself. “Why me!?”

Mechanically Lacking

Something I do feel I have to admit is that I never really gave into the mechanics of the challenge. The idea is to wear a bracelet and switch wrists after each complaint and start the streak over.

The bracelet I had in mind I ended up throwing out some time ago. I want to come up with a different tool to physically acknowledge complaints, before the trial is up. If you have any ideas, let me know in the comments below.

The idea of not complaining isn’t necessarily the goal of this trial. I’m hoping to call out when I find myself getting in a complaining mindset and shift gears right away.

Started Strong

The trial started while I was out visiting family. As I expected, it was pretty easy to get by on a positive mindset. After all, I didn’t have any major responsibilities or problems to deal with. I actually made it over four days without complaining.

The thing that did surprise me was a long day of travel and moving furniture only saw one moment of complaint. It was early in the trip back. My cousin was driving me to the airport, and we got stuck by a series of traffic lights that seemed to have the worst timing, this was Dallas after all. After that though, it was pretty smooth sailing.

Sweating the Small Stuff

The biggest thing I’ve noticed so far is that I tend to deal with larger problems or inconveniences pretty well. I generally laugh things off or not let it bother me when I’m faced with a major challenge. The things that get under my skin are the inconsequential.

To best explain this I’ll use an example. After getting back home, I was looking for a particular dish in the kitchen. One of my roommates put it away in a different spot than I normally do. A thought crossed my mind to the effect of, “how could they put this here?”

Luckily, I caught this thought and called myself out on how stupid it was. This is the type of thing I’ve let myself get away with for to long though. These little comments and thoughts that don’t lead to any solution to a problem.

Throughout this trial, I hope recognizing when I find myself in this mindset will help to prevent it in the future.

While away from home, I’ve slept in a couple different arrangements, both having different effects. Back in a bed, I was surprised to find I miss my at home setup.

A Return to Old Ways

Sleeping in a conventional bed again wasn’t as comfortable as I was expecting. It took some time to get settled back in and I even woke up feeling pretty stiff.

One thing in particular that I’m glad on is that I woke up with a familiar lethargy as of late. I’ve had trouble getting up as early as I once did since around the time I started the trial and wondered if it had an impact. This might be a sign it’s something else, good news depending on the perspective.

Currently, I’ve visiting my cousin, and my setup here is closer to the Japanese futon back home. It’s the type of futon most people think of when they hear the term. Looking it over, it does remind me of the shikibuton, it’s a thin pad of cotton. The major difference is this one is on a couch frame, not just on the floor.

Final Thoughts

In the end, I was glad to see that things took a turn for the better after I changed my sleeping habits. I’m not entirely certain if sleeping on the floor has any direct benefits, but I surprisingly enjoy it. I’m looking forward to learning more and improving on the foundation I’ve started building.

The portability of the shikibuton helps with the minimalist mindset. Working from home, I stay in my room most of the day, and often I’d collapse into bed after a tiring day. With my bed folded up and put away, I can easily change the purpose of my room at a given moment.

For the next trial, I’m going to be trying the no complaint challenge. Though more so the mechanics than the “challenge” itself. To summarize, I’ll wear a something on my wrist and anytime I start to complain, I have to switch it to the other wrist.