Month: November 2017

Disclaimer off the bat! The majority of this post concerns my giving up pornography and masturbation for the past week. If that’s something you’d prefer to avoid having that image of me in your head, feel free to skip this one. For the next week, I’m also not going to consume any caffeine, thanks for dropping by!

For those of you hanging around, here’s a quick update on the trial as a whole. I did my best to avoid discussing this at Thanksgiving, though my mom did try to pry out some details. I was able to change the subject thanks to a cousin of mine (Thanks Jason!). On the subject of  Thanksgiving, I do have something I need to confess. Due to a minor mixup, I accidentally had a drink of alcohol. My brother was drinking a nice dark stout and I had a cup of root beer, after a bit of moving around I picked up the wrong cup. The smell caught me off guard a bit but figured it couldn’t be my sweet delicious root beer. I was quickly proven very incorrect. Regardless of intention, that’s a strike for me.

While I may have slipped up on not drinking, I have thus far been successful in addition from last week. It helped that for a few days I was staying with family for the holiday, but even just the couple days I’ve been home have been an interesting thing to reflect on. Until I straight up forced myself not to watch any porn or choke the chicken, I never realized how much of a habit I had formed. There have been days where I’ve gotten home from work and started to wind down. Then I stop and think, “what do I do now?” I used to just fill a small chunk of my day watching bad acting that afterward feels like a bit of a waste of time. There are days when I actually become frustrated and look for something to distract me from the thought.

Putting myself on the spot to write about this has got me thinking a lot about how contradictory our culture’s approach to sexuality can be. Writing this makes me a bit uncomfortable thinking about the fact that nearly anyone in the world can read this post. At the same time, I can hop over to numerous websites or flip on the TV to watch a program or advertisement that is overwhelmingly sexual. I feel that pornography and sex are somehow simultaneously celebrated and demonized in popular culture. Who knows, maybe it’s just the sexual frustration building up in me.

Measuring the effect of not masturbating is not only difficult but a fairly odd thing to try and do. The time put elsewhere is a straightforward measure, which I’m glad I didn’t get a stopwatch out for a “control measurement.” This is weird enough to write about as is. Something I’ve heard from time to time is that porn and masturbation tend to allow complacency in intimacy and/or relationships. I’ve been single for quite some time, but recently have been thinking about trying that whole dating thing again, even if it’s not anything serious at first. I wonder if this trial will give me the push to do something about that, I guess time will tell.

Overall, this challenge was mostly inspired by something I heard on a podcast which the interviewee, who I am failing to find the name of, called the month of rage! The month of rage involves no alcohol, caffeine, or sexual activity. The plan seemed like something fit for this blog, so when I stopped drinking, I figured why not slowly introduce the other elements too. The full month might still be something on the table for the future though.

If you made it this far, I appreciate it! This was pretty tough to write. I found myself second-guessing myself and questioning what the hell I should write here. As I already mentioned, I’ll be adding caffeine to the list of sacrifices for the next couple weeks. I’ll be adding one more next week to add a final cherry on top of the psuedo-month of rage, so stay tuned!

If you read last week’s post, then, of course, you know that this past week I’ve given up drinking alcohol. All in all a week of not drinking is really easy. The real difficulty arises if I want to continue beyond this trial. Right now, it’s easy to tell people I’m not drinking, and it gives me a moment to explain the blog. Beyond this trial, I will need to deal with the often lengthy conversation of “I don’t drink,” which I did get rather used to last summer when I went thru a similar decision, though without a blog to write about at the time.

One moment of having to explain that I had stopped drinking came literally the day after pledging to give it up. A few minutes after posting, it dawned on me that I had plans to meet up at a bar that were made about a week in advance. My options were to cancel, change the venue, or to show up and explain that I had stopped drinking. I chose option three. I ended up getting a water and inspired by my abstinence, my associate ordered a 7-up. So there we were, sitting at a fairly packed bar, not a drop of booze between the two of us. I had a great time.

Before this trial, I’ve had a fair amount of experience dealing with social situations completely sober. When I lived in Texas last summer, I stopped drinking completely. I decided that I would only drink on my terms, not because I felt inclined to in order to deal with a certain situation. This decision was sparked by a couple nights that I simply felt the way I was acting while drunk wasn’t how I wanted to be known for acting, as I’m sure many drinkers can relate. One day, I just stopped and I definitely felt better about a majority of things in my life at that time. When I moved back to Dubuque, that habit sort of slipped. Coming back, I was surrounded by people I was habitually drinking with throughout the entirety of knowing them, and that led to many weeks of casual, and some not so casual, drinking. Which in of itself isn’t a bad thing, just a habit I want to try and break. I don’t want to rely on alcohol to get thru social situations, a place I know I’ve found myself in on a number of occasions. I do believe that simply not drinking for a few weeks will build some resolve even beyond this trial, at least I hope it does.

All in all, I’ve found that not drinking is pretty easy. Not only is it a clearly obvious health choice, but the amount of money I’ll be saving is quite nice. Do I expect to have an occasional drink when this is all over? Definitely, but again, it’s something that I want to decide on my terms, not because I feel it’s what I should do in a moment. I should be able to embrace any situation which others are drinking while stone cold sober and still have a great time.

As I mentioned in my last post, each week, I’ll be adding a new level to this trial. I’m going to be dipping into something a bit taboo in our culture though it’s something that’s been on my list to tackle for some time. Typing this is weird, especially since my mother is a frequent reader, but this coming week, in addition to not drinking alcohol. I will be not looking at pornography or masturbating. Well, this next post is probably gonna be little awkward…maybe you just shouldn’t read the next one mom.

This was for some reason a lot harder than it should’ve been. Picking up a book and reading somehow was one of the toughest things to do on certain days. I find myself procrastinating to do what felt like anything to not have to sit down and read. Thru it all, I definitely learned a lot in trying this though. I’ve had to do a lot of thinking on daily habits, short and long-term goals, and motivators over the past few weeks. I’ve learned not only from the process of trying (and failing) to read every day but also from the books themselves.

First and foremost, Ben Franklin was a crazy dude and I’ve got a ton of respect for him. He can be a great inspiration in times of trouble. His philosophies alone would’ve made him a legend, but he didn’t stop there. He became a renowned scientist across the world and was the only founding father to sign what are considered the four major documents to craft this great nation, the Declaration of Independence, the Treaty of Alliance with France, the Treaty of Peace with Great Britain, and the Constitution of the United States. He did have his flaws, however. Franklin was far from a family man, and while he never cheated on his wife, he was very flirtatious with a number of women in his time in both England and France.

Franklin, as it turns out is Nick Offerman’s “Most Respected Illuminatus,” as stated in his book. I really enjoyed this read. It was fun, full of pictures, and plenty of comedy. This was refreshing after the rather straight edged read of the biography. The read was fun, skills, however, are tough to work on without actually participating hands on. I had a good time reading the book and maybe learned a little bit, but I definitely wouldn’t consider myself knowledgeable in the world of woodworking without actually have worked with my hands.

The last book I challenged myself to read, and first to finish no less, was The Haunting of Hill House by Shirley Jackson. I mostly picked it up because its name seems to be the inspiration for one of my favorite board games, Betrayal at House on the Hill (link is non-affiliate). Overall, it was just an okay read, but I did find myself using my mind a lot more to visualize the scenes, characters, and objects. This made the experience so much better. I visualized the house and the frightening things that were happening within it. I’m glad I gave it a chance, but I may be doing a bit more research before hopping into any future works of fiction. Let me know if you have recommendations.

My biggest takeaway is the importance of deadlines. I tried to set this up by hardcore scheduling my days in order to meet deadlines, but all in all, I knew when push comes to shove, if completing these books was a number one priority, that deadline would push me to do so. This is something I’m trying to apply elsewhere in life. From work projects to side projects, having deadlines for a particular idea or task helps me to finish beforehand. Batting 1.000 on those isn’t always possible, but I still feel a bit of a sting when I go past it. My mind keeps coming back to an article I shared in my newsletter a week ago. The gist is that it’s important to know what factors truly influence you. Can you operate purely based on personal goals or do you need an external force pushing you to do so? For me personally, I think having publicly announced deadlines helps me to actually push myself to finish things before or at least close to those deadlines.

Now for the next trial. I am going to try shaking up the formula a bit. Not only am I going to start a new trial, but every week I am going to add a new challenge. To start off, I am giving up a delicious and sociable pastime, alcohol. Let me know in the comments below if you think you are up for the challenge!